…blowing 6th graders into an atomic mist just because they forgot to turn out the light seems therefore a touch extreme.

Thank you, 10:10, for giving The Daily Cannibal a such a running start on its first post of an editorial nature.  10:10, for any of you that have not already seen their video gone viral, No Pressure, are the warmhearted folks in the UK who, in aid of reducing carbon emissions, spent $400 grand of the taxpayers’ money on an ad featuring exploding schoolchildren, exploding office staffers, an exploding football coach, and finally, an exploding celebrity.

Now, we at the Cannibal would be the last to complain about body parts flying about in fountains of gore, but even to us, this particular display seems…well, wasteful.  After all, we eat what we kill, and high explosives leave very little by way of useful fragments for the stewpot.

And there is the troubling question of balance.  We attempt to reserve our wrath for bottom-dwelling scum who feed off the flesh of their victims — in most cases, by lying for the living that comprises their daily bread — or, well, you know.

The notion of blowing 6th graders into an atomic mist just because they forgot to turn out the light seems therefore a touch extreme.  But we are cognizant of the sophistication of both the video’s authors and its audience — surely we can all recognize satire and humor, can we not?  Monty Python?  Blackadder?

Jackass is more like it.  The moment this now-notorious fiasco hit the web, howls of outraged dismay could be heard from Stow-on-the-Wold to Sydney.  Many others assumed immediately that it was indeed satire, so effectively — if unwittingly — did it mock the “we know what’s best for you” pinched faces and canned dogma we generally associate with the sanctimonious set.

Certainly we favor energy conservation.  In fact, so devoted are we to the idea that we rarely stir unless vigorously compelled.  As for global warming, the Cannibal has no opinion, determined as we are to avoid causes and sects on either side of any important question.  We can say that, having had the scientific method beaten into our head by an impressive array of determined schoolteachers, we can find little in this debate that is science.  When the statistical data supporting conclusions shift like the eyes of a film noir gangster, or vanish from view altogether, we admit to some skepticism, but lest shouts of “denier” suddenly erupt, we point out that we are skeptical of both sides.

(By the way — that “denier” thing — that started out as an epithet for people who cast doubt on the Holocaust, which is reasonably well-established as historical fact.  Somehow, applying it to people who are wary of a mega-billion dollar industry and entertain reasonable doubts about the motives of many of its participants, seems inappropriate, and not a little insensitive.  Here we are especially wary of moist-eyed celebrities in search of positive Q-ratings.)

Well, okay, 10:10, realizing it had a catastrophe on its hands, swiftly withdrew the video from the web, but the web being what it is, the video is still easily accessible as it pops up on blog after blog.  Damage control time.

10:10 then posted an “apology” on its own website.  Unsurprisingly, the apology was almost as off-center as the video itself.  Smug and smarmy assurances that 10:10 is only trying to help the world (“and you’d better let us, or we’ll damn well kill you!”) are followed by an Emily Litella flashback conclusion:

“At 10:10 we’re all about trying new and creative ways of getting people to take action on climate change. Unfortunately in this instance we missed the mark. Oh well, we live and learn.”

In other words:  “never mind.”

We don’t think so.  When you spend almost half a million beans of the public’s dough on a video that would make Goebbels blanch, you don’t get another chance.  These clowns have done more than shot themselves in the foot; they’ve blown their own head off.  Seems fair, somehow.

Sorry, 10:10.  Into the stewpot with you.