Resistance is futile - you WILL buy my polyethylene!

The English-language broadcast of Qatar-based news network Al Jazeera has been available to millions of American cable TV subscribers long enough now to have established its worldly perspective and bracingly non-U.S.-focused coverage. They do a pretty good job offering worldwide reporting from knowledgeable correspondents, along with documentary explorations of places and phenomena we don’t learn about on American news, all presented by likable anchors with attractive British accents.

But the generally friendly tone hasn’t caught on with all of the network’s Qatari corporate sponsors. The English-language marketing slogan of plastics company Qapco, “In Just About Everything,” pushes out at viewers like an evil grin, as at the end of this commercial:

 

 

Audiences don’t respond well to suggestions of corporate omnipresence, at least in the West. We don’t want to be reminded that the oil companies, search engine giants, financial firms, and communications conglomerates we deal with daily have fingers in just about every pie we might want to eat. We don’t want to imagine seeping ooze infiltrating everything on Earth until everyone and everything is part of one giant hive-mind.

A comradely memo to the Qapco marketing department: Do come up with something friendlier than “In Just About Everything.”