It’s a little early yet, but The Daily Cannibal has its nominee for this year’s Grinch Award, given annually to the person who does the most to feed the holiday spirit straight into a woodchipper. We bypass the usual assortment of protesters against nativity scenes, ardent proselytizers and the rest of the predictably annoying babblers and screechers. Instead, we search for someone who has managed to put a unique twist on the whole Grinch concept — an act that elevates a standard gag reflex into serial episodes of projectile vomiting.
This year’s winner combines so many abhorrent notions into one sentence that we can’t see how anything can top it:
“You know, if you’ve got grandkids, make it a Christmas treat around the table to talk about a little health care.”
Admire it. The effrontery. The narcissism. The balls-out hilarity that “grandkids” will think a nice little lecture about health care is some kind of “treat.” The insulting demand that we spend the happiest time of the year promoting the wishful thinking of some posturing hack. The inexplicably bizarre assumption that this is even remotely possible for organisms with vertebrae. Kim Jong-il couldn’t do better.
Freely translated, this reads:
“We think you should interrupt your holiday dinner in a pathetic attempt to brainwash your kids into thinking this catastrophic clusterfuck called Obamacare is a cup of hot chocolate instead of a scalding enema right up the ass of the middle class.”
Mrs. Obama, you win hands-down. No one is going to top this. Merry Christmas.